Iixian Nations Department of Independent Investigation
CONTRACT #1: INVESTIGATOR EXCLUSIVITY AGREEMENT
BETWEEN: INDII (hereinafter “The Organization”) and _________________ (hereinafter “The Investigator”)
TERM: Month-to-month, renewable upon mutual agreement
WHEREAS The Investigator possesses certain unique qualifications, and WHEREAS The Organization requires dedicated professional services:
ARTICLE I – EXCLUSIVITY The Investigator agrees to accept investigative contracts solely through The Organization during the term of this agreement. Moonlighting, freelance inquiry, amateur sleuthing, and “helping out a friend” are expressly forbidden and constitute breach.
ARTICLE II – PROFESSIONAL CONDUCT The Investigator shall maintain appropriate decorum, submit timely reports (legible preferred), and refrain from causing unnecessary property damage. “Unnecessary” to be determined by The Organization at its sole discretion.
ARTICLE III – CONFIDENTIALITY All case details, organizational procedures, and cafeteria complaints remain strictly confidential. Loose lips result in assignment to the Rift Sea Monitoring Station (accommodations not provided).
ARTICLE IV – MEDICAL COMPLIANCE The Investigator agrees to wear provided equipment at all times and submit to quarterly health evaluations. Non-compliance may result in involuntary quarantine “for the public good.”
ARTICLE V – TERMINATION Either party may terminate with 30 days written notice. Immediate termination occurs upon: treason, gross incompetence, revealing classified information, or development of inconvenient ethical principles.
PENALTIES: Breach results in forfeiture of all compensation, possible criminal prosecution, and mandatory service in the disputed borderlands until such time as The Organization deems rehabilitation complete.
By signing below, The Investigator acknowledges reading, understanding, and enthusiastic acceptance of all terms.
___________________ (Investigator)
___________________ (Date)
Sir Mark Vale, Administrative Coordinator
On behalf of Lord Lehion, Director of INDII
CONTRACT #2: STANDARD INVESTIGATION SERVICES AGREEMENT
CONTRACT NUMBER: _______ INVESTIGATION TITLE: _______________________ TERM: Effective immediately upon signing, concluding upon case resolution or mutual termination
SCOPE OF WORK The Investigator(s) shall investigate the matter described in Appendix A (attached) using all legal means and several questionably legal ones, at The Organization’s discretion.
COMPENSATION
- Base Fee: _____ gold pieces upon satisfactory completion
- Discovery Bonus: _____ gold pieces per significant finding (significance determined by The Organization)
- Hazard Pay: Negotiable, assuming survival
- Expenses: Reimbursable with receipts and three forms of verification
AUTHORITY GRANTED The Investigator may question witnesses, examine evidence, access restricted areas, and generally make nuisances of themselves in pursuit of truth. Local authorities are required to cooperate or file complaints in triplicate.
OBLIGATIONS The Investigator shall: conduct themselves professionally (within reason), document findings thoroughly, avoid unnecessary collateral damage, and refrain from becoming emotionally invested in outcomes.
EXPANSION CLAUSE Should investigation reveal additional complications, scope and compensation may be renegotiated. The Organization reserves right to reassign case if Investigator proves “problematically heroic.”
FAILURE CONDITIONS Abandonment, gross negligence, or catastrophic incompetence results in: zero payment, formal reprimand, and potential reassignment to filing duties (basement office, no windows).
DISPUTE RESOLUTION All disputes shall be settled through binding arbitration by The Organization’s appointed mediator, whose decisions are final, non-appealable, and occasionally capricious.
___________________ (Investigator)
___________________ (Date)
Sir Mark Vale, Administrative Coordinator
Contract Processing Division, INDII
CONTRACT #3: HAZARDOUS DUTY ADDENDUM
SUPPLEMENT TO: Standard Investigation Services Agreement #_______
APPLICABILITY: This addendum activates automatically when investigation involves: undead, hostile magic users, organized crime, politically sensitive matters, or anything described as “probably fine.”
ENHANCED HAZARD COMPENSATION Additional _____ gold pieces upon completion, payable to Investigator or designated next-of-kin (form H-47 required).
SPECIAL PROVISIONS
- Equipment Damage: Replacement costs waived for first incident. Subsequent incidents suggest carelessness; fees apply.
- Injury: The Organization provides competent healing services. Scarring considered “character-building” and not compensable.
- Psychological Trauma: Monthly counseling available. Attendance optional but highly encouraged before behavioral issues manifest.
- Death: The Organization will make reasonable efforts toward resurrection, funds permitting. No guarantees. Employment contract terminates upon permanent death.
ASSUMPTION OF RISK The Investigator acknowledges that dangerous work is, by definition, dangerous. Complaints regarding “inadequate warning” or “preventable peril” should have been raised before contract signing.
MANDATORY COOPERATION In event of catastrophic outcome, The Investigator (or remains thereof) agrees to full debriefing, evidence surrender, and participation in any subsequent inquiry. Obstruction results in… well, you’re likely dead already, but we’ll find creative penalties for your estate.
RIGHT OF SUBSTITUTION Should Investigator become incapacitated mid-assignment, The Organization may substitute replacement personnel and redistribute compensation accordingly. Original Investigator’s opinions on this arrangement are noted and disregarded.
By signing, The Investigator confirms adequate life insurance, updated will, and philosophical acceptance of mortality.
___________________ (Investigator)
___________________ (Date)
Sir Mark Vale, Administrative Coordinator
Risk Management Division, INDII
All contracts subject to revision without notice. Ignorance of revised terms is not valid legal defense.